It’s not every day that I get the opportunity to photograph someone, besides myself, so important as President Bill Clinton.

I mean, while working for the paper I photographed several people who wanted to be president, but they all turned out to be losers.

But a little while ago I got my big break. Bill (as the secret service don’t want you to call him) was scheduled to speak at a health conference nearby and after a heated bidding war I got hired to cover the event!

Job description: photograph attendees eating broccoli, attendees exercising, scientists and doctors giving their speeches… and meet Bill Clinton and make a portrait of him with various political VIP’s and become best friends forever!!!

So.

On the morning of the conference I met with his secret service, and they knew my name right away-- just by looking at me! This was blowing my mind until I remembered that I was wearing a name tag.

I gave the men in black a bunch of personal information for a "security check" and let them look at my impressive camera equipment.

Then I waited. And waited. And Bill’s not here yet. He’s supposed to be here. A staff person comes in to say he just got up and will be leaving his hideout shortly.

Finally Bill arrived and it was pretty awesome. I didn’t get tackled by security even though I was sooo close to Bill, and I got some sweet shots of his speech.


But I knew the best part was coming up—when I get to shake his hand and ask him to smile and turn a little to the left please Mr. President and then we’re best friends and he and Hill send me Christmas cards every year.

So.

I go back stage after the speech to get Bill and he's not there. He must be in the VIP room with all the VIP's already. So I head down the hallway, make a right, and almost run smack into a secret service agent who asks what I'm doing.

"What am I doing? Excuse me? Do you even know who I am?" I say.

Ok I didn't say that but I could have.

The SSA tells me sorry, but the prez has left the building (and gone to McDonalds) because he has another engagement and doesn't have time for photos.

I thought about pushing past her and the 4 suits behind her, but I was on the clock and had to remain professional.

So I didn't get to meet Bill after all. But I have to admit that after all the spinach and wheat germ they made us eat at the health conference, I wanted a Big Mac pretty badly, too.

On the bright side, I did get to hang with a senator, the Surgeon General, and the Secretary of Health. I have a feeling me and Sebelius are gonna be tight like spandex.